10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.


Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work

Day 5 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


These posts are crazy vulnerable. This one was extra hard to write.

Remember when I said I gave it away to the first guy I kissed? (ugh). We weren’t even dating. It was just a friend who happened to be very cute, and a bit older, and anyway..

(ps, I 100% dispute the size of that “forever alone” quadrant

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect

Day 4 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


It’s a simple equation: If I get experience with kissing, hooking-up, sex, then i’ll get better at it for when it counts.

Sounds logical, right? If you practice piano, you get better. If you fall off a bike, but keep getting up, you’re a champ.

Somehow, hooking-up is different, but you may not find out until you find  “The One.” Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- Sex & Filters on Display

This is Day 2 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth and young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity .. Series intro here.


Who doesn’t want to be loved? Who never wanted to be desired? I’ve been married 15 years and still want to be wanted by my husband.

In Middle & High School crushing and flirting can consume much free time (even long after).

Is he looking at me..?  What did she say..?

You can be so self conscious. I remember getting picked on about my hair, or being new (we moved a lot). People can make fun of anything. I didn’t wear tanks until I was almost done with High School.

One day I just accepted my arms will never be those slim sticks I saw everywhere.

This photo may be from that day.

But now we’ve added filters and hyper non-reality to the mix.

With a click we can hate our own beauty multiple times a day. And don’t we all end up chasing decoys?


Yo, Angelina needs sleep too. And did anyone catch what they did to Bieber’s hands, back, muscles and, ahem, the rest… Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- Sex & Filters on Display”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive

This is Day 1 from the #UnashamedList Series. For the intro/what’s Jas getting into now?, start here.

Porn is crazy addictive. Yes, some may feel revulsion, but others glimpse a few seconds and get hooked. I know.

I’m not the only one. A Porn Kills Love/ Fight the New Drug Movement is happening in the US.


So how did porn meet me?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive”

#UnashamedList of 10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me [Series Starts Here]

That’s me on my 17th birthday. Woo, virginity blown the year before (with the first guy I kissed–in the same setting–ugh), vowed “never again” till marriage (yikes), sexualized more than a decade prior, porn addicted–didn’t realize it was addiction or problem…

Houston, you still with me?
Continue reading “#UnashamedList of 10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me [Series Starts Here]”

A Rebel Christian Manifesto…or, Apology

This has been an extra hard post to write and share. The danger in revealing something of your heart is it becomes open for ridicule, but it can also spark hope in someone– do people know how loved they are!? So I write knowing some identifying as Christian will dispute, just like I dispute the Nashville Statementplease don’t think that speaks for me, other humans, or those  identifying as “Christian”, or even God *Himself

Religion can steal/steel compassion and common sense, resulting in misinformed, cruel statements, actions, policies. But bible verses have always been used against fellow man, woman, child, even the environment.

Even the devil quoted scriptures.

 

 

(*I use He and His as simple pronouns for God but fully recognize God with male and female “identity” -for lack of a better word- as demonstrated throughout the bible and blatantly through humanity. Related post here.)

So for those not wanting anything to do with God or “Christians” because of those calling themselves “Christian,” and to stand (or, ahem, #takeaknee) with rebel Christians who’ve been persecuted and pushed out of churches for thinking, doing, or flat-out being something “different,”

And for every child, woman, or man that heard your voice doesn’t matter because of your age, skin color, gender, marital or parental status, anything external,  and for every creature and all nature that was abused under the notion that those made “in the image of God” are superior, this is for You.

REBEL CHRISTIAN MANIFESTO, or APOLOGY

Dear Children, little brothers and little sisters, You are the Mightiest Warriors of all.
Your heart, ideas, dreams and very life matter, not because of anything you do, but simply because: You Are. We are humbled by you. You’ve gone through fire because of the grave failings of our own adult hearts (Proverbs 17:3), and our grief is bottomless. (What are these tears God wipes in heaven if there are no more tears there? Maybe the ones we cry when we see just how much you’ve endured on our behalf…)

child heart - adult heart - as we grow let our compassion grow too
All heaven will bow before you. Thank you for your willingness to exist in this time with us.

Dear Women, Sisters, “Equal but with separate/different roles” was a lie spoken over you like “separate but equal” was spoken over those with darker skin color before you. You ARE equal to your brothers and your value rests not in your (in)ability to birth or raise children, to cook or clean… Your “role” was never meant to be defined by society, culture, the church, or anyone. God has always challenged our perception and understanding of identity and contrary to popular belief/practice, your giftings and talents were never supposed to be checked at the door when you came to a church service.

Continue reading “A Rebel Christian Manifesto…or, Apology”

Jesus: Homeless Refugee ‘Moocher’, Not Welcome in Today’s Church?

You know the story of the guest pastor who visited a church in shabby attire, unshaven and maybe even unshowered? Churchgoers sidestepped him and certainly didn’t seat him at the front, so imagine their surprise/shame when he got up to give the sermon.

It’s a good example of the authenticity of our Love, and while Love shouldn’t be swayed by sight, any flesh and blood wrapped in labels like “Refugee” -“Homeless” -“Foreigner” -“Moocher” -“Homosexual” -“Annoying Friend,” will test our hearts.

Do we love because we want to, or because we ‘must?’ If the latter, is that really love?

Continue reading “Jesus: Homeless Refugee ‘Moocher’, Not Welcome in Today’s Church?”

Open Letter to those Identifying as “Christian” in America

Dear “Christian,”

Whether you’re a Christian or a Christian from the “synagogue of Satan” (Revelation 3:9), don’t worry: there’s love here. Sorry to be blunt but with so many “Christians” holding bibles and speaking/doing hate, people need clarity. Luckily Love is the litmus test (1 Cor 13) and “a tree is known by its fruit” (Luke 6:44).

If your fruits are primarily outward like church attendance, wearing crosses, even big Bible knowledge, look out! It’s possible to be crazy about God, the Bible, and still miss His Heart–I’ve been there. Christians can even make God an idol (been there too, Ouch).

Whatever your identity, I’m writing this with a motivation to help protect, especially children, if things go Havoc on earth. America may be center stage for the only war that’s ever truly rumbled on earth: Love vs. Hate.

Let’s unpack.

Continue reading “Open Letter to those Identifying as “Christian” in America”

Open Letter to Anyone who ever Viewed, Considered, or Had Sexual Relations with Kids [#Hope, #BreakFree]

You may be a fellow parent at school, or faithful church goer. Maybe a pastor, doctor, teacher, neighbor, police officer, business mogul, bus driver, politician, janitor… You may be friend or family, male or female, greying or young, any race, (anti)religion, sexual orientation, political party affiliation,..

I’m not here to curse or condemn you. This is an honest letter from the heart.

Continue reading “Open Letter to Anyone who ever Viewed, Considered, or Had Sexual Relations with Kids [#Hope, #BreakFree]”