10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters

This is Day 2 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth and young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity .. Series intro here.


Who doesn’t want to be loved? Who never wanted to be desired? I’ve been married 15 years and still want to be wanted by my husband.

In Middle/High School crushing and flirting can consume much free time (even long after).

Is he looking at me..?  What did she say..?

You can be so self conscious. I got picked on for my hair, being new (we moved a lot), not having the right shoes–people can make fun of anything. I didn’t wear tanks until I was almost done with High School. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive

This is Day 1 from the #UnashamedList Series. For the intro/what’s Jas getting into now?, start here.

Porn is crazy addictive. Yes, some may feel revulsion, but others glimpse a few seconds and get hooked. I know.

I’m not the only one. A Porn Kills Love/ Fight the New Drug Movement is happening in the US.


So how did porn meet me?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive”

To the part of me that keeps screaming [Poem]

To the part of me that keeps screaming

To the part of me that keeps screaming,
Or is it wailing and on fire?
No one sees or hears you,
but I’m the witness.

Continue reading “To the part of me that keeps screaming [Poem]”

Sense in That Mess? There May be Hope for us Heroes…

Why can’t I find Corrie ten Boom books in my library? This Dutch girl was part of a family that hid Jews in their Haarlem home during WW2. Betrayed by her countrymen, they ended up in camps and she wrote amazing stories of hope and God’s Hand through the darkness (eg. “The Hiding Place“/”De Schuilplaats”).

When touring the home (free and I highly recommend) the guide pointed out a framed embroidery of Mess. Hundreds of tangled threads hung midair and I longed to shift and organize them to make sense of a pattern. If I remember correctly, the guide asked:

Continue reading “Sense in That Mess? There May be Hope for us Heroes…”

When Hate is Acceptable and Love becomes Laughable– Do We Know God? [Biblical Danger Zone]

Remember Claude Frollo? That gypsy (foreigner)-hating, child-manipulating and emotionally-abusing, lust-possessed, uber-religious Judge from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame? That man prayed. A Lot. Remember him pouring out his heart in the dark song “hell fire–desire”? (Yes, not all kids movies are for kids).

How many Frollo’s, to varying degrees, do you know? How many have we caught glimpse of since the US election?

Going to church doesnt make you a christian like being in a garage makes you a car

If this election has done anything for us, it’s certainly put a magnifying glass on the blinding hate that can reside in hearts of those who wear crosses or call themselves Christian.

Maybe that’s why Jesus Himself is getting a new name (Revelation 3:12), and why he was the angriest in a Church, NOT some city square (Matthew 21:12).

Before the US election, I heard many Christian-identifying Americans say: “this is a difficult decision…”

Difficult?  Do we know God?

Continue reading “When Hate is Acceptable and Love becomes Laughable– Do We Know God? [Biblical Danger Zone]”

If People are like Trees, Here’s to All the Weeping Willows…

The world puts people in boxes: you’re female so you feel like this, you’re Christian so you think like this, you’re American so you act like that…

God likes to mix things up to help break the social/tradition walls we build between people. Just consider the movie Hidden Figures (based on a true story) where we see brilliant, computer-like brains placed in– not just black, but black, female bodies– in 1960s America. LOL, God is such a rebel…

Hidden_Figures_movie still
Still from “Hidden Figures,” based on the untold true story of the women nobody knew behind the NASA mission everyone knew..  “Genius has no race.. Strength has no gender…”

Continue reading “If People are like Trees, Here’s to All the Weeping Willows…”

Jesus: Homeless Refugee ‘Moocher’, Not Welcome in Today’s Church?

You know the story of the guest pastor who visited a church in shabby attire, unshaven and maybe even unshowered? Churchgoers sidestepped him and certainly didn’t seat him at the front, so imagine their surprise/shame when he got up to give the sermon.

It’s a good example of the authenticity of our Love, and while Love shouldn’t be swayed by sight, any flesh and blood wrapped in labels like “Refugee” -“Homeless” -“Foreigner” -“Moocher” -“Homosexual” -“Annoying Friend,” will test our hearts.

Do we love because we want to, or because we ‘must?’ If the latter, is that really love?

Continue reading “Jesus: Homeless Refugee ‘Moocher’, Not Welcome in Today’s Church?”

Open Letter to President-Elect Trump, from a Democrat-voting, Bible-reading, “Christian,” with Love

Dear President-Elect Trump,

You’re probably not expecting any love letters from Democrats, but this will come darn close. Sir, you didn’t have my vote but you do have my heart, and I kindly ask to share 3 things with you.

Firstly, you’re a Winner–not because of any item you own or title you possess, but because you Exist. That’s a 10 to the 2,685,000th power odd, and for reference the number of atoms in the visible universe is just ~10 to the 80th power.

Secondly, I’ve seen you say and do things that shame and hurt others, and from my heart I wonder: Who hurt you? What bullies did you face, or who dared lay hands on you? Only you know your story of survival and truly none of us is a stranger to pain, rejection, or simply being misunderstood. But resilience is in our DNA and we find ways to cope–anything from food or drugs, to money or sex, shopping,  TV-watching, any thing. And every thing, from our own self-doubts to our possessions or fixes, seeks to enslave us.

Continue reading “Open Letter to President-Elect Trump, from a Democrat-voting, Bible-reading, “Christian,” with Love”

Love Needs “Limit” To Shine: Why We Won’t Trust God Unless He has a Last Piece of Pie

The garden of Eden taught some hard and sad lessons, including that we wouldn’t trust God without testing Him first. Parents warn their kids not to touch a hot pan, but don’t they/we ultimately want to know for ourselves?

Bieber had it right:

justin-bieber-ill-show-you

“I got to learn things, learn them the hard way.
Gotta see what it feels like, no matter what they say..”
(“Ill show you” Justin Bieber, Purpose album)

(Sure, some lessons we never want to learn firsthand, but maybe that’s because we saw the result in the life of another…) Continue reading “Love Needs “Limit” To Shine: Why We Won’t Trust God Unless He has a Last Piece of Pie”

Choosing Law over Love: A Sad Example of Broken Families from Ezra

This post is part of the #GodsOneLines series–breaking hate and/or shame caused by people wielding bible verses. Instead I want to use single bible verses or events to encourage and reveal God’s Heart if possible.

This story starts with Tears– mine as I write, and Heaven’s one fateful day.

It starts with the return of Jews from Babylonian exile. Their repeated offenses, including refusing to set servants free, caught up with them despite divine warnings. Sure, they listened for a time, but soon after changed their minds, re-taking men, women and children into captivity (sounds like the Moses story with Pharaoh, right?)

Continue reading “Choosing Law over Love: A Sad Example of Broken Families from Ezra”