Get Hard? Life Lesson from Gold

Imagine a child has a strict teacher and shares their struggle with the parent/caretaker. The adult may say, ‘Chin up! This experience is prepping you for the real, cruel world.’ Or maybe the parent takes action and inquires with the teacher or school.

Or maybe the parent tells the kid their presence actually helps break the cruel world–they are challenging to the teacher’s way of working/thinking.

teachers making kids conform

Life throws so many hits we may be tempted to “Get Hard.” Continue reading “Get Hard? Life Lesson from Gold”

Breakdance: Wisdom From/For The Heart

My daughter joined a Breakdance class last year. She always loved dancing and had a natural “popping” ability, so I showed her some styles online and Breaking caught her.

It might seem peculiar compared to e.g. swimming or soccer, but the style was as normal to me as street drummers or people passing with purple mohawks (I grew up in cities and various cultural circles).

But this was the first time I got to get close.

It’s one thing to hear about crews and listen to beats as a kid. It’s another to see your own kids rocking out.

And every time she had class, it was like all was well with the world..

Continue reading “Breakdance: Wisdom From/For The Heart”

Remix Your Life: A Note on Being vs. Labelling-Up

I find it hard writing bios for my social media accts.– is it just me? Passionate about people, beats, geeking on both HP and government policy… I think about sounds, planets, cheering others on… and the minute a label nears (“woman” “mom” “american” “dutchie” “bookworm” “basshead”) I’m limited. I’m claustrophobic.

How many times have you labelled up?

Continue reading “Remix Your Life: A Note on Being vs. Labelling-Up”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.


Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”