Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story

Encouraging memes can fall flat when you’re in the middle of a firestorm. My experience is that problems or stressors rarely come alone. I’m dealing with X, but Q is spilling over, and my heart is breaking about T (and D through K).. I’m not sure I’m going to make it about P….

Do troubles wait their turn?

Continue reading “Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.


Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters

This is Day 2 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth and young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity .. Series intro here.


Who doesn’t want to be loved? Who never wanted to be desired? I’ve been married 15 years and still want to be wanted by my husband.

In Middle/High School crushing and flirting can consume much free time (even long after).

Is he looking at me..?  What did she say..?

You can be so self conscious. I got picked on for my hair, being new (we moved a lot), not having the right shoes–people can make fun of anything. I didn’t wear tanks until I was almost done with High School. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive

This is Day 1 from the #UnashamedList Series. For the intro/what’s Jas getting into now?, start here.

Porn is crazy addictive. Yes, some may feel revulsion, but others glimpse a few seconds and get hooked. I know.

I’m not the only one. A Porn Kills Love/ Fight the New Drug Movement is happening in the US.


So how did porn meet me?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive”

#UnashamedList of 10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me [Series Starts Here]

That’s me on my 17th birthday. Woo, virginity blown the year before (with the first guy I kissed–in the same setting–ugh), vowed “never again” till marriage (yikes), sexualized more than a decade prior, porn addicted–didn’t realize it was addiction or problem…

Houston, you still with me?
Continue reading “#UnashamedList of 10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me [Series Starts Here]”

WWVD? 9 Beautiful Life Hacks from Voltron, Legendary Defender

The new Voltron (Netflix) blows my mind. I never saw the original (ahem, Thunder Cats), but 30 years later with my own kids, I’ve been longing for cartoons with solid stories and, uh, steady volume. We even blocked a few “kids” channels since so much was like junk food.

But Voltron-Legendary Defender has been a revelation. Rich story lines, deep and diverse characters, 23 glorious minutes of adventure and self-reflection.

One day my little had a meltdown about biking to school. We were running late so my eldest had to bike ahead. I hated separating and spontaneously called out, “What would Voltron do?!”

That got me thinking, so here’s my top 9 Voltron – Legendary Defender Life Hacks for a little fun and encouragement.

Continue reading “WWVD? 9 Beautiful Life Hacks from Voltron, Legendary Defender”

Busting Religion: Why I Let My Kids Play with Ninjago, Elsa, Anna, Batman…

In February I got an email from my kids’ school to be alert for “trends and hypes.” All parents were encouraged to give extra thought to the cartoon figures we let our children wear or bring to school, via bags and lunch boxes. My kids attend a school that identifies as Christian, so we knew, in addition to extra singing/music, bible stories and praying, there would be attention to avoiding really frightening stories, or stories of witchcraft, zombies, etc. But this email called out Elsa, Anna, and even Superman. Uh, What??

Continue reading “Busting Religion: Why I Let My Kids Play with Ninjago, Elsa, Anna, Batman…”

The Torch and Oven: A Christmas Story You Didn’t Hear

Christmas is a time to enjoy cozy lights, sweet treats, and Dutch gezelligheid – a wonderful word without pure translation, but roughly: nice/comfy/friendly/cozy- ness.

Some think of “baby Jesus,” or making everything just right, and still others wish to fast forward through the season. Holidays can be painful for some so I want to share a verse I’ve never heard at Christmastime which may give hope, especially to any who’ve ever been oppressed. Or maybe it gives more perspective beyond the baby in a manger.

Continue reading “The Torch and Oven: A Christmas Story You Didn’t Hear”

A Rebel Christian Manifesto…or, Apology

This has been an extra hard post to write and share. The danger in revealing something of your heart is it becomes open for ridicule, but it can also spark hope in someone– do people know how loved they are!? So I write knowing some identifying as Christian will dispute, just like I dispute the Nashville Statementplease don’t think that speaks for me, other humans, or those  identifying as “Christian”, or even God *Himself

Religion can steal/steel compassion and common sense, resulting in misinformed, cruel statements, actions, policies. But bible verses have always been used against fellow man, woman, child, even the environment.

Even the devil quoted scriptures.

 

 

(*I use He and His as simple pronouns for God but fully recognize God with male and female “identity” -for lack of a better word- as demonstrated throughout the bible and blatantly through humanity. Related post here.)

So for those not wanting anything to do with God or “Christians” because of those calling themselves “Christian,” and to stand (or, ahem, #takeaknee) with rebel Christians who’ve been persecuted and pushed out of churches for thinking, doing, or flat-out being something “different,”

And for every child, woman, or man that heard your voice doesn’t matter because of your age, skin color, gender, marital or parental status, anything external,  and for every creature and all nature that was abused under the notion that those made “in the image of God” are superior, this is for You.

REBEL CHRISTIAN MANIFESTO, or APOLOGY

Dear Children, little brothers and little sisters, You are the Mightiest Warriors of all.
Your heart, ideas, dreams and very life matter, not because of anything you do, but simply because: You Are. We are humbled by you. You’ve gone through fire because of the grave failings of our own adult hearts (Proverbs 17:3), and our grief is bottomless. (What are these tears God wipes in heaven if there are no more tears there? Maybe the ones we cry when we see just how much you’ve endured on our behalf…)

child heart - adult heart - as we grow let our compassion grow too
All heaven will bow before you. Thank you for your willingness to exist in this time with us.

Dear Women, Sisters, “Equal but with separate/different roles” was a lie spoken over you like “separate but equal” was spoken over those with darker skin color before you. You ARE equal to your brothers and your value rests not in your (in)ability to birth or raise children, to cook or clean… Your “role” was never meant to be defined by society, culture, the church, or anyone. God has always challenged our perception and understanding of identity and contrary to popular belief/practice, your giftings and talents were never supposed to be checked at the door when you came to a church service.

Continue reading “A Rebel Christian Manifesto…or, Apology”

Tower of Bible: All that “Law” but Where’s the Love?

How do we have the bible in every language and version (e.g. NIV, NKJV, ESV, NASB, …), study guides, teen/mom/soldier/woman/early reader styles, Comic Bibles…. and still miss the main message?

love-your-neighbor-as-your-self-even-if-they-are-lgbtq-or-refugee-or-muslim-or
Translation: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Jesus) “And if they are a refugee or gay?”… or Muslim or Mexican, or Republican….?  Jesus: “Is there something wrong with your ears?”

I didn’t know I owned so many bibles–granted, I’m a self-proclaimed recovering pharisee so I shouldn’t be surprised, but it wasn’t until a friend visited from a country where being Christian is a crime and her daughter longed for a bible, that I really got thinking.

Continue reading “Tower of Bible: All that “Law” but Where’s the Love?”