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6 Christmas Gifts from the Universe

Last day of the year, and while many are feeling more carefree and hopeful, some are just trying to survive (connect people, pls).

The Christmas season can be rough, and means different things to different people,

But I keep thinking about Stars…

Lights in the street and homes, lights like hope in the dark season. A new star appeared on the horizon when Jesus was born and if I think about God’s heart, I wonder if it was more than just a flare.

Here’s my take on 6 “Christmas” gifts thanks to the Jesus story. Enjoy and take with you into the New Year.

Continue reading “6 Christmas Gifts from the Universe”

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Rebel Christian ABC’s

For anyone who thought “I want nothing to do with God, or “Christians” because of what they do, say, put into policy” (read: USA, White House), or for any who had the bible used against them, for outcasts not “good enough” for “Church,” or who asked too many questions, or had too many ideas, or just didn’t fit. To all who wonder if unconditional love is real, if God cares, or if there are better things to come… This if for you. ❤

Continue reading “Rebel Christian ABC’s”

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Maybe Kids aren’t a Distraction, but the Main Event?

Ever been in a store and witnessed a child meltdown? The parent is either a. trying to ignore, b. negotiating/pleading, or c. hoisting kid in prem and getting out quick. (yes, I was c. person).

Parenting can mess people up.

We think we’re calm, sane people, but kids blow that up. You get a new spectrum of emotions, including fierce protector, bottomless love, anxiety, grief,… add another child to the mix and watch anger jump on the Richter when you see one hurt the other.

Yes, that was me who clapped hard, stood up and shouted STOP at my kids during Hema breakfast. Yes, the restaurant went silent.

It can feel like a sliding scale between brain mush and losing mind, but is something more profound going on?

* Continue reading “Maybe Kids aren’t a Distraction, but the Main Event?”

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The 1 Thing Everybody Should Know About “Abundance”

There’s more than enough for everyone. Really. On a planet with people starving and naked…

image from the Occupy Wallstreet Protests

The core problem, imo, may be so simple that few believe it. (or we’re so far from our humanity…). Continue reading “The 1 Thing Everybody Should Know About “Abundance””

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Freedom from Power-Seeking & Glory on the Fourth of July

Independence Day… reminder of freedom in America from Tyranny, Oppression, Dictatorship…

“E Pluribus Unum” or,  “Out of Many, One” (traditional motto of the US).

Yes, America has come a long way,  but yesterday I saw tanks lined up for the Celebration??! I’ve been American my whole life and never recall this happening before.

Continue reading “Freedom from Power-Seeking & Glory on the Fourth of July”

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It’s Not You, It’s Timing – How to Keep Hope When Nothing’s Working

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Is it just me? Sometimes disappointment, frustration, or fatigue keep banging on the door. You’ve got a project, dream, plan, but it’s stuck. You wonder: Is it me? My skills or vision? Do I lack proper education or experience? Is my heart really in it?

I read about some fisherman who may have thought the same. They worked all night with nothing to show.

Were they unskilled?
No. They were “Fisherman.”

Was the net broken?
Nope. Strong and ready.

Were they in the wrong place?
Absolutely not.

Continue reading “It’s Not You, It’s Timing – How to Keep Hope When Nothing’s Working”

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Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story

Encouraging memes can fall flat when you’re in the middle of a firestorm. My experience is that problems or stressors rarely come alone. I’m dealing with X, but Q is spilling over, and my heart is breaking about T (and D through K).. I’m not sure I’m going to make it about P….

Do troubles wait their turn?

Continue reading “Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.

Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend

Day 9 from the #UnashamedList. Written especially to support eg youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, sexual abuse, etc…  Series intro here.

You’ve got to do it sometime.

I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if getting tested for STD’s is so normal now that it’s trend. I heard Trevor Noah (The Daily Show) joke once about Chlamydia and how everyone has it.

Oh really?

But if you’ve never been checked out and have been sexually active–from intercourse, to just oral sex– Get. Yourself. Checked.

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #8- Your Body Means Something, It’s OK to Wait

Day 8 from the #UnashamedList, a special series written to support any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, etc…  Series intro here.

We live in an instant gratification society.

Almost everything is at our fingertips, with a click or swipe. Waiting is a special skill.

Especially with sex: how foreign the idea of waiting might be…

Still, I wish I did. What’s more, I wish someone told me this was even an option. Waiting, sexual integrity, and my body as valuable property weren’t topics I was busy with.

Music, crushing and fun was.

Kids. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #8- Your Body Means Something, It’s OK to Wait”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #7- It’s Not Cool for Teachers or Parents to Hit On You

Day 7 from the #UnashamedList series. Written to be a resource for any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction,..  Series intro here.

After reading Day 5, my husband dropped this:

“Op een oude fiets moet je het leren.”

Apparently it’s an old Dutch phrase meaning, literally: ‘You’ve got to learn it on an old bike.‘

The cultural meaning is: get your sexual practice with someone with experience. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #7- It’s Not Cool for Teachers or Parents to Hit On You”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.

Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work

Day 5 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.

These posts are crazy vulnerable. This one was extra hard to write.

Remember when I said I gave it away to the first guy I kissed? (ugh). We weren’t even dating. It was just a friend who happened to be very cute, and a bit older, and anyway..

(ps, I 100% dispute the size of that “forever alone” quadrant

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect

Day 4 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.

It’s a simple equation: If I get experience with kissing, hooking-up, sex, then i’ll get better at it for when it counts.

Sounds logical, right? If you practice piano, you get better. If you fall off a bike, but keep getting up, you’re a champ.

Somehow, hooking-up is different, but you may not find out until you find  “The One.” Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #3- Money & Bling Aint No Thang

This is Day 3 from the #UnashamedList Series. Special series written especially for youth or young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.

Money isn’t the purpose of life.

I know media and music clips imply otherwise, but aren’t we made for more than amassing wealth?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #3- Money & Bling Aint No Thang”