Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story

Encouraging memes can fall flat when you’re in the middle of a firestorm. My experience is that problems or stressors rarely come alone. I’m dealing with X, but Q is spilling over, and my heart is breaking about T (and D through K).. I’m not sure I’m going to make it about P….

Do troubles wait their turn?

Continue reading “Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.


Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.


Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work

Day 5 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


These posts are crazy vulnerable. This one was extra hard to write.

Remember when I said I gave it away to the first guy I kissed? (ugh). We weren’t even dating. It was just a friend who happened to be very cute, and a bit older, and anyway..

(ps, I 100% dispute the size of that “forever alone” quadrant

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect

Day 4 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


It’s a simple equation: If I get experience with kissing, hooking-up, sex, then i’ll get better at it for when it counts.

Sounds logical, right? If you practice piano, you get better. If you fall off a bike, but keep getting up, you’re a champ.

Somehow, hooking-up is different, but you may not find out until you find  “The One.” Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #3- Money & Bling Aint No Thang

This is Day 3 from the #UnashamedList Series. Special series written especially for youth or young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


Money isn’t the purpose of life.

I know media and music clips imply otherwise, but aren’t we made for more than amassing wealth?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #3- Money & Bling Aint No Thang”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters

This is Day 2 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth and young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity .. Series intro here.


Who doesn’t want to be loved? Who never wanted to be desired? I’ve been married 15 years and still want to be wanted by my husband.

In Middle/High School crushing and flirting can consume much free time (even long after).

Is he looking at me..?  What did she say..?

You can be so self conscious. I got picked on for my hair, being new (we moved a lot), not having the right shoes–people can make fun of anything. I didn’t wear tanks until I was almost done with High School. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive

This is Day 1 from the #UnashamedList Series. For the intro/what’s Jas getting into now?, start here.

Porn is crazy addictive. Yes, some may feel revulsion, but others glimpse a few seconds and get hooked. I know.

I’m not the only one. A Porn Kills Love/ Fight the New Drug Movement is happening in the US.


So how did porn meet me?

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #1- Porn is Crazy Addictive”

WWVD? 9 Beautiful Life Hacks from Voltron, Legendary Defender

The new Voltron (Netflix) blows my mind. I never saw the original (ahem, Thunder Cats), but 30 years later with my own kids, I’ve been longing for cartoons with solid stories and, uh, steady volume. We even blocked a few “kids” channels since so much was like junk food.

But Voltron-Legendary Defender has been a revelation. Rich story lines, deep and diverse characters, 23 glorious minutes of adventure and self-reflection.

One day my little had a meltdown about biking to school. We were running late so my eldest had to bike ahead. I hated separating and spontaneously called out, “What would Voltron do?!”

That got me thinking, so here’s my top 9 Voltron – Legendary Defender Life Hacks for a little fun and encouragement.

Continue reading “WWVD? 9 Beautiful Life Hacks from Voltron, Legendary Defender”

God Wouldn’t Fly First-Class: 3 Surprising Reasons the Streets are Gold in Heaven

Imagine a city so loaded with gold and gems they become standard building materials. Add other precious metals and stones to the mix and just marvel. It’d be palatial, decadent, … God-like?

Hmmm.

“Streets of gold” is a phrase probably rooted in a bible passage on heaven: “… The great street of the city was of gold, as pure as transparent glass…” (Revelation 21:21)

But I don’t care if it’s true or not. The real question for me is: What good is all that Gold??

Continue reading “God Wouldn’t Fly First-Class: 3 Surprising Reasons the Streets are Gold in Heaven”

Shine & Shadow: How to Stay in the Light without Throwing Shade

God-glimpses aren’t confined to churches, prayer or fasting. Sometimes (many times?) they can happen in the natural, every-day moments.

I biked with three of my littles one unnaturally warm winter day. The youngest sitting behind me piped up:  “Look, look!”

Continue reading “Shine & Shadow: How to Stay in the Light without Throwing Shade”

Taken From God’s Rib [Multimedia Post]

Is it so simple? We were enjoying an outdoor wedding and it was like heaven touched down– the weather, the people, music, everything was amazing. So much freedom and fun, especially for the kids. We stayed all night long.

When a speaker shared about the Adam/Eve story, full heart and humor, I got hit:

If Eve was made for/from Adam so he wouldn’t be lonely, maybe God made all of us for the same reason? [-click to tweet-]

God, lonely? Ridiculous! Blasphemous!

Ok, but here’s a question: did you ever experience a great place, delicious food, or sick beat and not want to share it with someone?

Continue reading “Taken From God’s Rib [Multimedia Post]”

You’re God’s One and Only…

My daughter dropped a pebble she found at a fair while we biked and it was a drama. Some days later I turned out small pockets and found more stones. I kept thinking of this post so went to revisit. Maybe the message touches your heart too. Enjoy.

Heart in Formation

My son is a self-proclaimed ‘collector of stones.’ When I see a driveway full of rocks, he sees treasure. He searches for favorites and shows me his joys, describing and identifying beauty in each one.

I’m always surprised how unique they are when I start looking, despite being just rocks.stones-this one is special-we re Gods One and Only_HeartinFormation

Does God see us and seek us like this?

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To the part of me that keeps screaming [Poem]

To the part of me that keeps screaming

To the part of me that keeps screaming,
Or is it wailing and on fire?
No one sees or hears you,
but I’m the witness.

Continue reading “To the part of me that keeps screaming [Poem]”

Sense in That Mess? There May be Hope for us Heroes…

Why can’t I find Corrie ten Boom books in my library? This Dutch girl was part of a family that hid Jews in their Haarlem home during WW2. Betrayed by her countrymen, they ended up in camps and she wrote amazing stories of hope and God’s Hand through the darkness (eg. “The Hiding Place“/”De Schuilplaats”).

When touring the home (free and I highly recommend) the guide pointed out a framed embroidery of Mess. Hundreds of tangled threads hung midair and I longed to shift and organize them to make sense of a pattern. If I remember correctly, the guide asked:

Continue reading “Sense in That Mess? There May be Hope for us Heroes…”