Get Hard or Get Soft? A Life Lesson from Gold

Imagine a child has a strict teacher and shares their struggle with the parent/caretaker. The adult may say, ‘Chin up! This experience is prepping you for the real, cruel world.’ Or maybe the parent takes action and inquires with the teacher or school.

Or maybe the parent tells the kid their presence actually helps break the cruel world–they are challenging to the teacher’s way of working/thinking.

teachers making kids conform

Life throws so many hits we may be tempted to “Get Hard.” Continue reading “Get Hard or Get Soft? A Life Lesson from Gold”

Of Stars & Men: A Note on Grief, Love & Life

Part of this blog has been about coming out about stuff. Being vulnerable, daring to share. That’s why it’s sometimes quiet– not because I’m not writing, but because I’m not posting, not letting go.

This time was different. I wasn’t writing. These are the first words penned since I lost Continue reading “Of Stars & Men: A Note on Grief, Love & Life”

5 Life Hacks from a Surf Trip

Sometimes, imo, the Universe/God/Love nudges us a bit. Whether we lean in is on us (freedom, free will)–but doing so can be amazing. I gave in once to something so outside myself there was no way it was just me. In turn, I picked up deep liberation from religion and cleared massive walls I didn’t even know I built.

But it doesn’t have to be so serious, Jas..

Continue reading “5 Life Hacks from a Surf Trip”

Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story

Encouraging memes can fall flat when you’re in the middle of a firestorm. My experience is that problems or stressors rarely come alone. I’m dealing with X, but Q is spilling over, and my heart is breaking about T (and D through K).. I’m not sure I’m going to make it about P….

Do troubles wait their turn?

Continue reading “Diamonds & Pencils: Become the Hero of Your Own Story”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.


Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.


Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work

Day 5 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.


These posts are crazy vulnerable. This one was extra hard to write.

Remember when I said I gave it away to the first guy I kissed? (ugh). We weren’t even dating. It was just a friend who happened to be very cute, and a bit older, and anyway..

(ps, I 100% dispute the size of that “forever alone” quadrant

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #5- The “Everything But Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work”