For anyone who thought “I want nothing to do with God, or “Christians” because of what they do, say, put into policy” (read: USA, White House), or for any who had the bible used against them, for outcasts not “good enough” for “Church,” or who asked too many questions, or had too many ideas, or just didn’t fit. To all who wonder if unconditional love is real, if God cares, or if there are better things to come… This if for you. ❤
Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.
That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.
And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…
There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…
Day 9 from the #UnashamedList. Written especially to support eg youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, sexual abuse, etc… Series intro here.
You’ve got to do it sometime.
I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if getting tested for STD’s is so normal now that it’s trend. I heard Trevor Noah (The Daily Show) joke once about Chlamydia and how everyone has it.
But if you’ve never been checked out and have been sexually active–from intercourse, to just oral sex– Get. Yourself. Checked.
Day 8 from the #UnashamedList, a special series written to support any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, etc… Series intro here.
We live in an instant gratification society.
Almost everything is at our fingertips, with a click or swipe. Waiting is a special skill.
Especially with sex: how foreign the idea of waiting might be…
Still, I wish I did. What’s more, I wish someone told me this was even an option. Waiting, sexual integrity, and my body as valuable property weren’t topics I was busy with.
Music, crushing and fun was.
Day 7 from the #UnashamedList series. Written to be a resource for any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction,.. Series intro here.
After reading Day 5, my husband dropped this:
“Op een oude fiets moet je het leren.”
Apparently it’s an old Dutch phrase meaning, literally: ‘You’ve got to learn it on an old bike.‘
The cultural meaning is: get your sexual practice with someone with experience. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #7- It’s Not Cool for Teachers or Parents to Hit On You”
Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.
Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.
Today I want to share what goes right: You.
Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”
Day 5 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.
These posts are crazy vulnerable. This one was extra hard to write.
Remember when I said I gave it away to the first guy I kissed? (ugh). We weren’t even dating. It was just a friend who happened to be very cute, and a bit older, and anyway..
(ps, I 100% dispute the size of that “forever alone” quadrant
Day 4 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.
It’s a simple equation: If I get experience with kissing, hooking-up, sex, then i’ll get better at it for when it counts.
Sounds logical, right? If you practice piano, you get better. If you fall off a bike, but keep getting up, you’re a champ.
Somehow, hooking-up is different, but you may not find out until you find “The One.” Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #4- Smashing & Hook-Ups: Practice DOES NOT Make Perfect”
This is Day 3 from the #UnashamedList Series. Special series written especially for youth or young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Series intro here.
Money isn’t the purpose of life.
I know media and music clips imply otherwise, but aren’t we made for more than amassing wealth?
This is Day 2 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth and young adults navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity .. Series intro here.
Who doesn’t want to be loved? Who never wanted to be desired? I’ve been married 15 years and still want to be wanted by my husband.
In Middle/High School crushing and flirting can consume much free time (even long after).
Is he looking at me..? What did she say..?
You can be so self conscious. I got picked on for my hair, being new (we moved a lot), not having the right shoes–people can make fun of anything. I didn’t wear tanks until I was almost done with High School. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #2- More to Life than Sex & Filters”
This is Day 1 from the #UnashamedList Series. For the intro/what’s Jas getting into now?, start here.
Porn is crazy addictive. Yes, some may feel revulsion, but others glimpse a few seconds and get hooked. I know.
I’m not the only one. A Porn Kills Love/ Fight the New Drug Movement is happening in the US.
So how did porn meet me?
That’s me on my 17th birthday. Woo, virginity blown the year before (with the first guy I kissed–in the same setting–ugh), vowed “never again” till marriage (yikes), sexualized more than a decade prior, porn addicted–didn’t realize it was addiction or problem…
Houston, you still with me?
Continue reading “#UnashamedList of 10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me [Series Starts Here]”
1 Real Woman, 18 photoshopped versions based on cultural preferences. Lesson learned: You’re Beautiful. Period.
We’re all one-of-a-kind, never to be repeated or replaced beings. Don’t be bothered by “standards” which are always changing and never satisfied.
If we want to work on/filter anything, let it be our Kindness and Love. That never goes out of style and does a world of good. Literally.