10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.


Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend

Day 9 from the #UnashamedList. Written especially to support eg youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, sexual abuse, etc…  Series intro here.


You’ve got to do it sometime.

I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if getting tested for STD’s is so normal now that it’s trend. I heard Trevor Noah (The Daily Show) joke once about Chlamydia and how everyone has it.

Oh really?

But if you’ve never been checked out and have been sexually active–from intercourse, to just oral sex– Get. Yourself. Checked.

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend”

Love Needs “Limit” To Shine: Why We Won’t Trust God Unless He has a Last Piece of Pie

The garden of Eden taught some hard and sad lessons, including that we wouldn’t trust God without testing Him first. Parents warn their kids not to touch a hot pan, but don’t they/we ultimately want to know for ourselves?

Bieber had it right:

justin-bieber-ill-show-you

“I got to learn things, learn them the hard way.
Gotta see what it feels like, no matter what they say..”
(“Ill show you” Justin Bieber, Purpose album)

(Sure, some lessons we never want to learn firsthand, but maybe that’s because we saw the result in the life of another…) Continue reading “Love Needs “Limit” To Shine: Why We Won’t Trust God Unless He has a Last Piece of Pie”

God Does Dishes & the Laundry–Glimpsing a Servant King

If you’ve got kids, you’re raising them to leave you. That cut umbilical cord was the clue they don’t really belong to us–they were born to fly.

Eventually they leave the nest–Mine are too young for me to even fathom this, but I lived it and probably you too. When we return, parents cancel appointments and make favorite meals. Quality time and fun are maximized and we taste a bit of heaven.

Were you one of the kids who packed up dirty laundry to bring home? I was!!

Continue reading “God Does Dishes & the Laundry–Glimpsing a Servant King”

When Divine Kids get a Planet to Themselves – The Ultimate House Party

It’s maybe every kids dream: a house to themselves. When kids reach a certain age and maturity level, parents will inevitably leave them home alone, maybe even over night.

Many 80’s movies show what can happen when parents go away for the weekend, and we expect sex, drugs and rock and roll–fun and foolishness. We’d never imagine oppression/abuse/hatred, but if we look at the world and consider God gave us the “keys” back in Eden, we see that’s exactly what we got…

beastie boys-fight for your right to party.png
Beastie Boys-Fight for your Right to Party!

Continue reading “When Divine Kids get a Planet to Themselves – The Ultimate House Party”

Puberty of the Soul… Freedom and Choices

School years can be pretty hard. You struggle trying to be yourself, not always fitting in, puberty, pressures, crushes, bullying…. I gladly forgot it all. But decades later I felt something like growing pains, but in my spirit. Can you have spiritual puberty? If you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable, the answer may be yes.

Everything in life grows and matures, and I believe this is true spiritually as well.  Continue reading “Puberty of the Soul… Freedom and Choices”

God’s Love is Deeper than our Worst…

Visit any church and listen to people sing about God’s Love–but do they know how deep it goes? Can they understand it or would they recognize it?

spilled milkLove is easy when given to one who spills milk, but how about someone who spills blood? And not accidentally but purposefully?

The hard truth is God’s Love goes that deep… for the mass murderer, the child rapist, the filmer of any kind of torture….

We may think we’re decent people, innocent of such crimes, but don’t forget: your thought life is also part of the equation. Jesus said being angry with someone was like murder, and looking lustfully at someone was like having an affair  (Matthew 5:21-30).

Truly no one gets into heaven on merit, but we’re all invited:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16, bible)

So considering all the hate and evil in the world, not just in deed but in thought- Jesus was on the craziest Love mission ever… Continue reading “God’s Love is Deeper than our Worst…”

Labels were never meant to stick…

We have a “rule” in our family about name calling–namely, don’t do it.

I know people like to joke and call names in jest, little kids yelling, ‘come on poopy head’ or friends teasing, ‘hurry up slowpoke.’ But I’m pretty sensitive and don’t like any of it.

Especially when I realized it’s happening all over the place, not just as playful or derogatory, but as identifying labels

Gay, Straight, Beauty Queen, Jock, Vegetarian, Vegan, Republican, Democrat, Nerd, Rebel, Techie, Trekkie, Californian, Christian….

It grieves me that society makes us feel the need to label-up: “I’m Gay,” “I’m Straight,”  “I’m Bi,”.. “I’m …” etc.,  as if that’s someone’s identity.

Your life is so much more than your love preference, food preference, political preference….etc.

Do we dare ostracize others for any of these things? In a world so focused on the external, its easy to forget what really matters:
Kindness, Compassion, Honesty, #1Cor13 Love… Continue reading “Labels were never meant to stick…”

Can’t touch God…Can’t touch You

On Day 2 of this “Wild God, Wild Kids-31 Days Looking at God’s Heart” series I shared how a store clerk reached out to touch the cheek of my 5month old baby. My gut jumped: hands off Lady- he’s not yours!–but I live in a (ahem) civilized world where kindness is (ahem) important so I accepted the touch, reasoning he was brightening her day (that’s not his job, Lady…! Chill Jasmine.)

My brain says suppress these ferocious feelings since they’re not ‘soft and sweet’ like “good Christians” should be, but something else in me says the flare-ups are part of my God-given, God-DNA.

Continue reading “Can’t touch God…Can’t touch You”

Transgender God, Part 2: The Motherhood of God

In Transgender God, Part 1: What’s in a Name, I shared a sensitivity with “Father” as a name for God since many have been abused by theirs. I also spoke of compassion for the #LGBTQA Community who suffer everything from name calling to persecution or death solely for their identity/love choice.

God chose the male AND female gender to express “Himself” (Genesis 1:27), and if “He” can identify with both genders,  we’d do well to accept others who do the same. After all, the Royal Law is: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (James 2:8), and last I checked no one wants a hard time, especially from strangers, on deeply personal matters like identity or marriage choice…

Treat others as you want to be treated, right?

women_and_men_Equal

This Wild Kids, Wild God series was always about sharing God’s Heart, and a precious though hidden revelation is found when reflecting on God as Mother.

Continue reading “Transgender God, Part 2: The Motherhood of God”

Transgender God, Part 1: What’s in a Name?

When I started this “Wild Kids, Wild God – 31 Days looking into God’s Heart” series, I had no idea how deep I’d go.

In recent posts of this series I started noting:

I use ‘He’ and ‘His’ as pronouns for God, but fully recognize God with both Male and Female  ‘identity’–for lack of a better word–, as evidenced by the human race and through the Bible…” Post coming soon!

This is that post, and the topic is dear to my heart. It may disturb, but can also encourage, and my desire has been, as best as I can, to put God’s Heart ‘out there,’ crazy as It may be.

So let me “come out” about this.

Continue reading “Transgender God, Part 1: What’s in a Name?”

The baby in a feeding trough: A Secret of the Manger

This is Day 20 of the “Wild Kids, Wild God – Looking into God’s Heart Series


A “manger” is sad place to put a baby in any era. The word comes from French, manger (mahn-shay), which means, “to eat.” Indeed, Jesus’ crib was a feeding trough, filled with food scraps and leftovers–things we probably would call trash.

If you’ve ever been treated like crap, rejected, looked down upon, spoken ill of, if you ever felt like you deserved better but instead got worse, please know, what happened to you mattersking size bed

But didn’t Jesus deserve a palace? After all, he got his very own Star! Alas, God was determined to identify 100% with Mankind: not just live among us, but get knee deep in our M.e.s.s. .(btw, Im betting we all got a star…)

God loves using symbolism and I wondered, Why the barn? Why a feeding trough?

Continue reading “The baby in a feeding trough: A Secret of the Manger”

Don’t Carry a Thing…Not Even Anxiety

A friend posted on Facebook that a store clerk offered to carry her single loaf of bread to the car. Was he trying to get a tip? I was skeptical, but apparently he genuinely wanted to help.

And it occurred to me: if this young man’s heart was tender enough to want to carry a loaf of bread for a stranger, how much more- and heavier things does God want to carry for us?  Cares, anxieties, fears.. the stuff that keeps me up at night or makes me want to quit.. Continue reading “Don’t Carry a Thing…Not Even Anxiety”

Real Love & Self Control…Hug me as tight as you can!

Day 18 of the Wild Kids, Wild God – 31 Days looking at God’s Heart Series.


With three little ones running/crawling around the house, a quiet moment with my eldest son is rare. When it comes, I snuggle him close and rustle his hair. He usually looks up and says, “Hug me as tight as you can!”  My response is usually,”I don’t want to hurt you.” But he insists, “Pleeeaase!” Yes, I’ve squeezed pretty tight, but at some point I back off lest I hurt him.fruit of the spirit

Self control is maybe the hardest characteristic/trait on the list of 9 “Fruits of the Spirit” we should be cultivating in our lives. But it’s a necessary one. Without it we can become weapons of destruction, against ourselves and others.

I’d never hold my 7month old baby as tightly as I’d like. I recently realized I clamp down my lips whenever I hold my kids–I think I’m subconsciously compensating for the restraint in my embrace!

But discussing self-control and restraint may seem silly if we think about babies. What about other things? How controlled is my tongue when I’m angry? Or my appetite when icecream is in the house. Can a man keep his eyes on his wife? Can a politician check desire for personal gain and refuse a lobby bribe? Continue reading “Real Love & Self Control…Hug me as tight as you can!”

When the Ball blew away… Little Things Matter

This is part of the  “Wild Kids, Wild God- 31 Days Looking into God’s Heart” series.


The wind is blowing hard these days. I love the rushing sound and watching leaves shake and tumble–it’s like music and dancing to me!

Yesterday I was gazing out my son’s window and could see his favorite ball wedged on top of a garage roof. We couldn’t get it without danger to ourselves or the roof, so we left it, though my son loved it. Continue reading “When the Ball blew away… Little Things Matter”