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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse

Final post in #UnashamedList series. Written especially for youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, (sexual) abuse, etc.
Series intro and full 10 Day list here.

Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.


But everything is more complicated Today.

That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.

And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…

There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…

You’re so much stronger than you think…

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #10. Sex = A-Bomb, for Better or Worse”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend

Day 9 from the #UnashamedList. Written especially to support eg youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, sexual abuse, etc…  Series intro here.

You’ve got to do it sometime.

I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if getting tested for STD’s is so normal now that it’s trend. I heard Trevor Noah (The Daily Show) joke once about Chlamydia and how everyone has it.

Oh really?

But if you’ve never been checked out and have been sexually active–from intercourse, to just oral sex– Get. Yourself. Checked.

Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #9- Get Yourself Checked w/a Friend”

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10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.

Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never. Continue reading “10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked”

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God Wouldn’t Fly First-Class: 3 Surprising Reasons the Streets are Gold in Heaven

Imagine a city so loaded with gold and gems they become standard building materials. Add other precious metals and stones to the mix and just marvel. It’d be palatial, decadent, … God-like?

Hmmm.

“Streets of gold” is a phrase probably rooted in a bible passage on heaven: “… The great street of the city was of gold, as pure as transparent glass…” (Revelation 21:21)

But I don’t care if it’s true or not. The real question for me is: What good is all that Gold??

Continue reading “God Wouldn’t Fly First-Class: 3 Surprising Reasons the Streets are Gold in Heaven”

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Love, Law & Christianized Hate: One Bible Verse to Flip the Script

What do you think? Is it possible for a religion claiming inspiration from a humble, foot-washing, dying-on-behalf-of-“haters”- God, to have followers preaching hate, exclusion, and oppression?

Sadly, it’s possible. Continue reading “Love, Law & Christianized Hate: One Bible Verse to Flip the Script”

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Is Hell bigger than Love?

The gospel can be cut so many ways. “Good news” for a woman begging is different than for a rich Westerner, or trafficked boy. But concepts like unconditional love and freedom keep me busy.

I’ve heard many Christians stress about people needing to “convert” or “be saved” to avoid hell. Was it similar thinking that sparked the convert-or-die theology of the Crusades?

Continue reading “Is Hell bigger than Love?”

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Taken From God’s Rib [Multimedia Post]

Is it so simple? We were enjoying an outdoor wedding and it was like heaven touched down– the weather, the people, music, everything was amazing. So much freedom and fun, especially for the kids. We stayed all night long.

One of my littles enjoying and digging a hole in the “aisle.”
Wedding Selfie!

When a speaker shared about the Adam/Eve story, full heart and humor, I got hit:

If Eve was made for/from Adam so he wouldn’t be lonely, maybe God made all of us for the same reason? [-click to tweet-]

God, lonely? Ridiculous! Blasphemous!

Ok, but here’s a question: did you ever experience a great place, delicious food, or sick beat and not want to share it with someone?

Continue reading “Taken From God’s Rib [Multimedia Post]”

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Dear Church Leaders: The Revelation Came from the Wilderness, not the Pulpit

Crap, another friend shared about getting kicked out of church. Arrgh. It’s painful, but sadly not rare– I have my own stories…

People can have different ideas, or giftings that don’t fit traditional parameters (e.g. gender/marital/parental status, etc.), and misunderstandings can be easy. But should talents or abilities cease the moment someone enters a church? Can we, especially those in church leadership, listen to someone if they aren’t preaching from the pulpit?

God has used a whale, worm, donkey and various plants to communicate throughout the Bible. How much more a fellow human?
Click to Tweet

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Your Bible Kills Me: Why Christians Shouldn’t Justify Hate Policies, and Tools Against Future B.S.

Get back with that Bible!
When Jeff Sessions uses it to support ripping nursing children from desperate, refuge-seeking parents, and the WH Press Secretary–a parent herself— doubles down, I only have one advice:

If your bible encourages, or justifies you hating someone, please: Chuck. It. It’s better to attempt love without fully understanding the how or what, than head for hell clenching the good book in your fist.
(Mark 9:43)

That “good book” has been used bigly to justify fear, hate, greed, horror and flat-out atrocities for ages. Repeatedly we see it’s possible to know– and maybe even love— God’s Words, but fall flat when it comes to *His Heart.
I know, that was me.

Continue reading “Your Bible Kills Me: Why Christians Shouldn’t Justify Hate Policies, and Tools Against Future B.S.”

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The One Thing Voldermort Maybe Got Right, and Snape Wrong: A Love Note

It’s ok if you’re late to the Harry Potter party. It’s been 20+ years since the debut (omg, we’re that old) and as a high school junior I had little time or interest in the hype and hysteria that came with it. Not to mention many Christian circles (still) actively opposing the magic and “witchcraft.”

It wasn’t until this year when my kids’ school sent a letter urging parents to be alert for trends and hypes, particularly where magic or superpowers were involved, that something in me started to rumble.

Continue reading “The One Thing Voldermort Maybe Got Right, and Snape Wrong: A Love Note”