Sex was a massive part of my youth. I’ve shared snapshots of how hard it is being sexualized at an early age throughout this series. I’ve come out about the insidiousness of porn, upsides of “waiting,” and consequences of just doing everything you think is right.
That’s me on my 17th Birthday. No Instagram, Twitter or Tinder back in the 90’s. No Selfies or Filters to daily challenge my self-esteem. If a party got crazy, any d* pics were probably taken with a throwaway camera. There was no Social Media to torch a reputation or courage.
And when I went through a “tomboy” phase, LGBTQ wasn’t even on the radar…
There’s so much pressure on youth today. Few places to just Be. #MadRespect for all walking through it daily…
Sex is an A-Bomb, for better or worse
“For Better” because in a committed, consensual relationship you can be completely vulnerable, explorative, protected thus free to blow eachother’s minds.
Even after 15 years of marriage and 4 kids, there are still new discoveries. 🙂
“For Worse” because outside of a protected, consensual relationship, sexual intimacy still crosses body/heart/minds boundaries and can wreck our core. Manipulation and abuse can be devastating.
Even porn hijacks our natural wiring for sex. Arousal, getting it up, even getting off can be compromised if porn is frequently on the menu.
Sex has even been used as weapon of war, noted for “psychological damage” and the stories of men are only just coming out…
To deny the power of sex, to chock it up to a simple extracurricular activity, denies the power, value, and vulnerability of it. (tweet)
If we start thinking of sex as something common and uncomplicated, like getting coffee, we may start to believe it. Our biological vulnerability (mind, heart, emotion) will eventually catch up, but in the meantime there can be real life consequences: social (media) humiliation, STD’s (incl. death) and pregnancy.
Ironic: Does anything else in this world create life or trigger death?
Sex should be wild and wonderful, a glorified, God-given A-Bomb. But with non-consent, manipulation or abuse it’s the evil flipside of all that power. And a flipping atrocity if kids are in the mix.
(I’ve seen video titles of child sexual abuse clips that would make many go Nuclear.)
Here’s my final take away from this series.
- You have value and your sexuality is a gift.
- You don’t have to go with the flow of society or do everything your desire wants.
If you did or saw anything you now regret, or if anything ever happened you wish you could erase, A. you’re not alone. , and B. don’t ever be ashamed. <3
This series was written to support youth navigating all these issues, and create a springboard for both youth and parents/youth workers, etc. to discuss this mess/goodness/grief/glory.
Who has no valleys in their life? No matter what happened, or what you did, or will do, I have Mad Love and Respect for you. These are crazy times, You’re a Damn Warrior.
Keep your strength, keep courage, keep your head up. Stars make the night more bearable.
Shine On. <3
Thanks for tuning in to the #UnashamedList series.
-Series start + full days list here.
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Hey, I’m Jasmine, drinking a lukewarm–wrote too long, drank too slow–coffee, and wondering: What Life & Sex Lessons do you wish you had sooner? Which post in this series resonated with you the most?
Post a comment below or msg me directly. Pls also share this series further. It was made with love. <3
*Ps, I use “He” and “His” as simple pronouns for God but fully recognize God with male and female “identity” (for lack of better word) as evidenced through the bible or, blatantly, throughout humanity. Ponder more here, or check this “Love Letter to a Transgender Teen on Spirit Day” here.
- Unashamed List Intro: Good Lord, Am I Sharing This?!
- Day 2: More to Life than Sex & Filters
- Day 4: Smashing/Hook-ups: Practice Does NOT Make Perfect
- Day 5: The “Everything but Sex” approach Doesn’t Work
- Day 6: Never Be Ashamed..
- Transgender God Part 1: What’s In a Name?
- Stay the Same or “Show Up” (the rainbow needs all her colors to shine)
- Can’t touch God, Can’t Touch You (for any who ever experienced any kind of abuse)
-Cover image: by me, w/modified base photo from Jimmy Musto (unsplash)
-Nuke fallout demonstration pic via Ra Dragon on unsplash.
-baby image, via Irina Murza on unsplash
-golden lamps via Krissia Cruz on unsplash
-star gazers via Hamid Khaleghi on unsplash
-Contained Ocean, Mori Art Museum Exhibition via Colossal.