Day 8 from the #UnashamedList, a special series written to support any youth navigating issues like sexual integrity, porn addiction, etc… Series intro here.
We live in an instant gratification society.
Almost everything is at our fingertips, with a click or swipe. Waiting is a special skill.
Especially with sex: how foreign the idea of waiting might be…
Still, I wish I did. What’s more, I wish someone told me this was even an option. Waiting, sexual integrity, and my body as valuable property weren’t topics I was busy with.
Music, crushing and fun was.
If I look back, I either missed the memo, or it never came up, but waiting wasn’t on my radar. I do remember asking how sex worked when I was ~7years. A parent doesn’t think about going into intimacy, relationships and abstinence at that age. Atleast, not me. (but with ease of access to hardcore porn, maybe we should.. and sooner than we think).
The kids are coming up against stuff faster than we think, and harder than we experienced ourselves. (tweet)
Maybe half of the posts in this #UnashamedList series are me sharing fall-out from giving it up too easily.
Snapshot Tips Summary:
-Your body (+mind & heart) mean something.
-All of these aspects and more are at play if you get intimate.
-You don’t have to sleep with the first one who wants it (or the first one you want).
-Waiting goes beyond some ideals of purity or religion; it’s also about being able to experience every wild goodness with your special partner, WITHOUT doing mental backflips comparing past lovers.
-If you’re not in a committed, this-is-it kind of relationship, you may have to deal with social media shaming, disease, and pregnancy (this last one can happen regardless–Total. Life. Change.).
Despite sex being seen more as an extracurricular activity, or natural progression of being turned on, it’s still a vulnerable and intimate act. (tweet)
I remember the girl in the recent SchoolTV video, “if you’re ready, just do it.” I think of the science that says our judgement and impulse center doesn’t fully develop until we’re 20-25 years.
I’ve wondered if knowing what I know today would’ve really made me approach my first hook-up differently.
My honest answer is yes.
Being more aware of your own value, and the value and magnitude of the act you’re about to engage in, can affect even what situations you walk in to.
But yeah, Hindsight.
Check back tomorrow for Day 9 of 10 in this #UnashamedList series.
-Series start + full days list here.
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Hey, I’m Jasmine, about to get some coffee, and wondering: What are some life lessons you wish you had sooner? Are you sharing any mess with kids/youth in your life? Post a comment below. Pls also share this series further. <3
- Day 1: Porn is Crazy Addictive
- Day 2: More to Life than Sex & Filters
- Day 4: Smashing/Hook-ups, Practice Doesn’t not Make Perfect
- Day 5: The “Everything but Sex” Approach Doesn’t Work
- Day 6: Never Be Ashamed..
-Cover image: from Fotografierende, via unsplash
-Two chicas enjoying photo clicks and a drink: from Kevin Grieve via unsplash
-Kids, Sunset and Stars—Can’t locate the source of this (yet!)