10 Life & Sex Lessons Mom Never Told Me: #6- Don’t Ever Be Ashamed, We’re all Jacked

Day 6 from the #UnashamedList Series. Written especially for youth or young adults navigating sexual integrity, porn addiction, identity, etc. Intro here.

Each day of this series I’ve been sharing some of my X-rays to expose what can go wrong.

Today I want to share what goes right: You.

Don’t dare be ashamed of anything you saw, did, thought, or even what was done to you. Never.

7.7 billion people on the planet and all of us are jacked. And even if someone’s deeds were always right, our eyes and mind haven’t always been true.

If you ever saw or did something you didn’t want to, or wished you didn’t, you’re so not alone. (and please, please tell someone if something is still going wrong, or went wrong in the past!)

1 in 3 youth experience some form of sexual abuse (click to tweet)

This includes exposure to inappropriate material, eg porn, or inappropriate touching, not just flat-out rape. It may be even higher now.*

So, #MeToo, #MenToo, #KidsToo, #ChurchToo… If we realize almost every other person has gone through something or been there, we don’t have to keep quiet.

Who’s idea was it to keep up appearances??

If I get vulnerable, someone knows they’re not alone.

We can’t be stiff about all the mess in the world. Dare to speak up. Dare to come out about something.

Dare to throw an egg in the face of power. Literally.

But above all,


Grace may sound like “christianese” for a dinner prayer, but in my mind it’s a way of living, breathing, moving forward… (Acts 17:28)

You say: I blew it.
Grace Says: I love you.
You say: I can’t make this up
Grace says: You can move forward.
You say: I’m the worst
Grace says: You’re Amazing.

Grace is part of God’s language to me. And for any doom and gloomers, I can only point to Jesus:

A few thousand years ago some religious elite chucked a scantily clad woman at Jesus’ feet. ‘Adulteress! Our Law says stone her.’ (fill in your own blank: Screw Up, Murderer, Mistake-Maker, ..).

They wanted Judgement. They wanted him to validate God’s Law. 

What does Jesus do? 

That rebel, disturber of the peace/status quo, kneels and writes something in the sand. Then answers, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone.”


Everyone leaves, starting with the eldest first. (story here) Truth be told, under that condition there was arguably only One who could’ve stoned her.  Jesus, who said “when you see me, you see God,” shows God *Himself won’t do it.

(Jesus: the original whipping boy). ❤

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” –Romans 8:31
(no one can use the bible against you)

When Adam and Eve ate the apple, a new concept was born in the Universe:


It’s not natural to us, debilitating, and worst of all, it’s used to silence so many.

Being unashamed is a big F* you to everything wrong with this world. (click to tweet)

And it’s a massive part of how God always intended us to be. (unpacking here)

You don’t have to conform any longer. ❤

*The 1 in 3 kids is a Dutch stat, but given the nature of these acts and studies in other nations, it’s likely globally representative. That number may already be higher (source: National Rapporteur Mensenhandel en Seksueel Geweld tegen Kinderen  – National Reporter Human trafficking and Sexual Violence against Children, 2014).

**I use He and His as simple pronouns for God, but fully recognize *Him with male and female “identity” –for lack fo a better word. This is evidenced throughout the bible, but most blatantly through humankind. (dedicated post here, or check this ‘Love Letter to a Transgender Teen’ here)

Check tomorrow for Day 7 in this #UnashamedList series.
-Series start and full days list here.
-Follow series or blog by clicking ‘follow’ button to receive email notifications of new posts (below this page).

Hey, I’m Jasmine, drinking coffee, and wondering: Am I the only one? What are some of your ‘wish I knew this sooner’ – lessons? Or is anyone wrestling with any of these things?
Post a comment below or msg me. And pls share this series further. ❤

Related Posts

Image Credits:
-Cover: “This is the sign you’ve been looking for” by Kabata (Ieva Laurina)
-Joan of Arc quote, pic taken by me in a book a the Library–book I can’t yet locate!
-I’m Not Alone graphic by Little Warriors (non profit working on child sexual abuse awareness raising, prevention and treatment)
-Flower Bombing – Banksy, my man<3

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