School years can be pretty hard. You struggle trying to be yourself, not always fitting in, puberty, pressures, crushes, bullying…. I gladly forgot it all. But decades later I felt something like growing pains, but in my spirit. Can you have spiritual puberty? If you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable, the answer may be yes.
Everything in life grows and matures, and I believe this is true spiritually as well.
I thought I was doing pretty good–me and God were best buddies and did everything together, from selecting earrings in the morning to thunderstorm conversations at night.
But somewhere along the way I got lost. “I” got lost.
The problem surfaced with choices, namely, I wanted God to make all of mine. After all, why should I bother when He knows best anyway! Red flags went up in heaven. Then I started freezing up on my ideas, spontaneity, and my heart. I began questioning/doubting everything and refused to ‘move’ without explicit instructions or a confirmation.
Religion crept in and started wrapping me in its cocoon: Don’t think, don’t try, don’t breathe, don’t Be. Alarm bells sounded and God Intervened.
For any one who thinks God is into ruling over you, or that He wants you to be a servant, slave or robot, Nothing could be further from the Truth!
The Champion of Freedom started unraveling my cocoon… Jasmine, where are you? Where are ‘you‘? He coaxed me out further with Silence. My spirit kicked and screamed as I had to start making moves in the dark–You know I can’t do this without You! Just tell me to go left or right and I’ll do it!
But then God spoke clearly: Whether you go left or right, trust that I know you and I have it covered…” (see 1 Sam 14:7)
Imagine if your 18yr. old son or daughter wanted you to make all his/her decisions? ‘Hey Mom, what should I wear today?’… ‘Mom, What should I eat for breakfast?’… ‘Mom, What should I do today?’ …’You choose for me, Mom-you know best!’
Don’t get me wrong, my kids can talk with me about anything and I’ll gladly advise. But ultimately I want them to choose for themselves and choose well. Birds were born to fly, not be confined to a nest and we were born to be free. God calls us to exercise good judgement, responsibility, to stretch our hearts and live in and through Love. To be more than just ‘yes’ people…
I thought I knew God, but I didn’t.
If you give Him everything you find He gives it right back. We’re advised to put God on the throne of our life so that all will go well (see pictogram), but I found that if you allow God in, He takes you into the center with Him. You rule together with Him on the throne (Revelation 3:21).
Learning God didn’t want to control me was a free-fall that almost destroyed me.
But love and grace cushion every fall.
I’m exercising ‘muscles’ I never had and learning the importance of discipline and self-control (critical and beautiful when you realize the freedom we’re destined for..). I usually feel awkward and rarely know what I’m doing, but tasting/wading in this kind of Love is worth it.
God’s encouragement holds us up through any ‘growing pains’: Keep moving forward, I know you, I’m crazy about you and I’ve got it covered. Try Me.
A child doesn’t learn to walk overnight, and it’s not easy, but there are Arms holding a little one up as they go and eventually the child will run.
And eventually, we will Fly. (Mark 12:25)
“The eternal God is your refuge, And underneath are the everlasting arms..” (Deuteronomy 33:27)
This post is part of the “Wild Kids Wild God – 31 Days Looking into God’s Heart” series, exploring our Divine Heritage and a Misunderstood God’s Wild Heart for the world!
-Trying to reconcile God’s Heart and all the laws you hear or read about? See Pearl and Mother of Pearl-You are God’s Magnum Opus.
-Need encouragement in your Identity? Check: “Are you the Black Sheep? God gets you!”
Feature picture caterpillar-butterfly girl, sadly, author unknown
Photo sapling, Carolyn Evans