This is Day 3 of the “Wild Kids, Wild God – 31 Days looking at God’s Heart“ Series.
Check the Introduction to the series here.
Forgiveness involves forgetting.
When I had my first child I was a bit paranoid and controlling about almost everything…what he ate, drank, saw, what gifts he got…is that organic? Does this have phthalates in it? Are you smoking..? Even before a friend wanted to hold my baby one time I asked, did you wash your hands? (Phew! So glad to be delivered from all that bondage!)
When my son started walking we adjusted the whole house (cover corners, lift CD’s,..another God-Glimpse, adjust your life for the kids…), but one thing particularly attractive to him was the trashcan.
As you can imagine for this hygenic-paranoid momma (is this what they now call “helicopter mom”?), that trashcan was a big No-No. I told him again and again, get away- but it was so darn interesting….
Eventually I intervened more directly. He was sad, I was sad…parenting is the hardest job in the world.. And then it was over–Resume Playtime!
But here’s the thing: my son brought it up later and I realized I forgot about it! What’s more, I considered I didn’t even want to remember it! I paused to let this sink in…
I don’t believe God wants to throw our mistakes/mess-ups back in our face. I don’t believe He dwells on them, holds them over our heads, and is certainly not in the business of beating us with them…(someone already took that beating...).
We fail daily….The whole universe can’t contain all the dumptrucks full of mess I said, did, or thought. I can’t move, much less breathe if I think of it. I can talk to God, try to make it right (if I can), but then I have to accept that 1. He forgave me, and 2. I should forgive myself.
Apparently God threw all our sins/mistakes/foul-ups in the sea (Micah 7:19). Or, one of my favorites: God put them as far as East is from West (Psalm 103:12). That’s pretty far apart… That’s Gone.
If God does it for me, who am I not to forgive myself? Who am I not to forgive others…?
Isn’t it funny/ironic this was impressed on my heart during an incident with a Trashcan?
My Momma Said #35: “Tomorrow is not promised and my next breath is not promised so I’m not going to spend my possible next last breath beating myself’ up.”
Weird side note: When I hear people talk about how forgetful they are I think: that’s awesome…its a God-Trait!
Want to read more about Forgiveness or God’s Crazy Love for you? Check Wildly Loved, Love Burns Hot
This post is part of the Wild Kids, Wild God – 31 Days looking into God’s Heart series.
The over analyzing controlling, yes. Not because we are awful or dumb, {though that is how it surfaces} but because on the inside we are afraid. It is amazing how little things, like a trash can, can spark so much, remind us of much.
Enjoying your series.
Cheers,
Leah
Thanks for the encouragement, Leah! Indeed, fear has a way of creeping in everywhere and stealing Joy and Freedom.